Partnering To Build Character

Dear Parents,

Yes, this week is the end of the first quarter of our school year! That means your child is one-fourth of the way through his/her grade level. Are you and he pleased with the progress he is making? Are you seeing her maturing—not only mentally, but also spiritually? Are you seeing him develop into a stronger R²G² (respect, responsibility, gratitude, genuineness) child? Is she taking ownership of her responsibilities for school projects, homework, chores at home or is she giving you excuses? Is he stretching for excellence or just doing the minimal? I suggest you use these very questions with your child (son or daughter) to help them do a self-evaluation. Being able to self-evaluate and then setting goals where needed is a great life skill to pass on to your children. With our busy lives, we sometimes need a reminder to take that time to mentor our children. If you use the school report card time, you will have four opportunities to help your child look back over recent accomplishments/struggles, but also to plan ahead. The fourth self-evaluation that you would do at the end of the school year also gives you encouragement to plan what you and your child would like to occur over those summer months.

The impetus to write this Parent Page came when I heard about one of our former students. Unfortunately, it was not a positive update. This student was a part of our school many years ago in the younger grades. We tried to work with the parents and student, but there were always excuses as to his behavior—we were expecting too much, he really didn’t mean to do it, he is just “all boy”. After a few years of this, we mutually decided that we were not in partnership and the parents withdrew him. I talked to a public school administrator who had him and this person gave me an update. It was not a pretty picture. The administrator’s one comment that stands out was “he never took ownership of his actions.” Now, it is being taken out of their hands as he is involved in the criminal system.

Parents, the advantage we have here at school is that we are exposed to groups of students. We can and do need to talk to you about what is normal in child development and what is not. We sometimes have to share with you the difficult things. That is never easy for us, but hopefully we do share in a caring way.  Please use that information that you are hearing from the parent/teacher conference and soon from the report card, along with other vital input (such as what you observe when your child is at Sunday School, playing with cousins/neighbors) to help set goals for your child. Pray about those things that concern you and then do something. Now is the time—those little foxes that creep up and cause problems usually do not develop overnight. Look at the cute little kindergartener who just whines for her own way, and transform the vision to that lovely sixteen-year old who also wants to do her own thing—even though that thing is very dangerous. It is much easier to teach that six-year-old that you can’t always have your way than a teenager who thinks they know it all!

At the same time, I know we cannot love your child as you do as a parent. God gave you the responsibility for raising your children to be godly, independent adults. I am just encouraging you to not do it alone and to not do it with blinders that keep you from seeing reality. I know you want the best for your child, and sometimes that best can only be achieved through some seasons of tough love!

Partnering with you in training godly children into godly adults,

Sue R. Meckstroth